You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
