the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
