the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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