We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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