Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
