I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
