: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
