you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My balls are so social today.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
