Jerry, you need to find god
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
