you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Shame - the story of my life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
