She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You're a waste of cheezeits
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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