Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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