he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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