Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
