i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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