I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
