ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
