Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
