are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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