I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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