More tranny stories later!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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