It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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