She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
