I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize