I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
