Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
