I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
my poor anus
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
