Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
