Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize