just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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