Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize