batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
