btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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