Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
