So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Randomize
