I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
