There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize