Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
