I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
