its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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