she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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