I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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