i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
