It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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