I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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