his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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