I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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