Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
