Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
