I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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