There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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