I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
