Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
