u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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