Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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