I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
