I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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