So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
