belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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